The Real Reason You’re Not Getting Clients — And What to Do Differently with Steve Krivda

The Real Reason You’re Not Getting Clients — And What to Do Differently with Steve Krivda

Norbert Orlewicz:  Welcome to Between Two Coaches, a Digital Mentors podcast for coaches, consultants, authors, speakers, and experts. I am your host, Norbert Elowitz, and in each episode we have a conversation with successful and emerging thought leaders in the mentoring industry to share experiences, insights, and practical strategies for us to make a bigger impact with our work. 

This podcast is sponsored by our Digital Mentors Compass Workshop. Most coaches unfortunately struggle to enroll enough clients consistently, not because they're bad at coaching, but simply because they lack clarity and simplicity in their marketing strategy. That's why we created the Digital Mentors Compass Experience.

It's a step-by-step workshop where you'll clarify your marketing message and receive an AI powered. 30 plus page marketing report personalized for your specific business and goals. This is an interactive workshop where you'll walk away with a personalized roadmap to finally achieve your goals with a simple plan.

You can actually follow register to attend the next workshop for free@compassworkshop.com. Again, that is compass workshop.com. Alright, today's guest is a good friend of mine and someone that I've had a pleasure of knowing for the last decade or so. 

Steve Crita. Steve Crita is a man of God. He's a loving husband and father with a passion to make an impact on the world. Steve has coached hundreds of people globally from small business owners, CEOs, and high level executive teams, and is considered an authority on the art of coaching. Steve is also a motivational speaker, which allows him to transform lives in a short amount of time. His training certifications include Ziglar legacy speaker, trainer, coach John Maxwell, coach NLP, life Coaching timeline coaching, and he's currently the head coach for Ziglar's CU at the top coaching program. Steve, welcome to this conversation.

Steve Krivda:  It is good to see you Norbert. Thank you for having me on, man. What a comes from very humble beginnings from when you and I had our very first conversation back in 2011.

Norbert Orlewicz:  2011. Yes, indeed. A lot has changed. It's been quite a journey and that's what we're gonna be talking about. Steve, I wanna, you know, kind of get you to share some of your experiences on this journey of building your coaching business, getting to where you're at now. Uh, it's quite a journey to do this and the coaches listening here, you know, they wanna. They wanna better understand, I think, what to expect and what, what it really takes to create success. So let's start out with this question. I love this question. I think this will get us, uh, kicked off really well. Why do you think that coaching, mentorship, entrepreneurship, all this stuff that we do, that we're so passionate about is more important now today in 2025 than ever

Steve Krivda:  Hmm. You know, you were kind enough to let me know that was coming and I, I'm sitting here, I'm like, how can I narrow this down? You know, it's, we live in a really interesting world. Um, you know, where there we're. There's a lack of responsibility as a human being.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Ooh.

Steve Krivda:  When we, when we take a, when we take a step back, and I don't mean we're irresponsible, however, we, we, we create irresponsible ways of showing up.

And what I mean by that is when we're, you know, when we pull back for a moment, the irresponsibility is not necessarily whether we're making that decisions. Irresponsibility comes in when we feel like we don't have a choice and that we're just, we're being made to think a certain way. And that's, that's it.

You can only think this way, or that's how I've always thought. And this is where I am, you know, and I have a, one of my clients is actually a coach. Uh, one of his favorite things to say to a client is when they say, well, this is what I have to do. And he said, if you have a bullet, if you have a gun to your head, do you still have the choice to take it or not?

And I was like, whew, man. That's, that's a powerful statement to make because we're always in a place of choice that your responsibility is that I don't have a choice. And I think that right now in our world. Um, man, I wanna be kind to your audience, Norbert. I don't wanna, we've only been on for a couple minutes.

I don't wanna ruffle feathers.

Norbert Orlewicz:  You know, I have this with kindness. I have a serious beef with

kindness. 'cause I've seen this. I, I think that kindness is actually one of the issues in our society right now. And we need less kindness and more bold and courageous leadership personally. But that's, that's my opinion. And, and we could talk about that, but I'm sure that you resonate with some of that as

Steve Krivda:  All, every, every word. Okay, cool. So I'll just speak how I speak with a client then. We always have a choice. And you know, like I said before, you know, people say, well, I'm wired this way, or this is how I've always done it. This is the person that I am. I'm like, none of that is true. None of it is true. You know, how you decide to be in the world is gonna create the world that you wanna live in.

And, and I think that we miss that part of it. You know, and it's funny because, you know, I, I've, I've had clients from all over different places and all different religions, all different backgrounds, all different, you know, socio-economic statuses and we're all the same person. And if, when we, when we start categorizing ourselves and putting, well, that person knows this be so they can, I'm like, Nope, not at all.

You know, and, and you know, when they look at me, and then we'll get into this story probably a little bit later, you know, I ca I became a coach by a complete accident. Um, you know, and it wasn't, and somebody just said, yeah, I think I wanna hire you. And there was, there was a moment of panic because I didn't think they were gonna say yes.

And so I just had to figure it out. You know, and we're, we're so great at telling people what to do and waiting to be told what to do, that we're starting to lose that cognitive thinking of being able to think for ourselves. And we're just waiting to be told and almost like, uh, I'm, I'm gonna go like this.

'cause I had one of those remote controls ready to use two hands, um, is that we're like waiting for somebody to, to move us around like a robot. And that's just a horrible way of living. And it zaps people's happiness and, and the freedom and the peace that they're looking for in their lives. I.

Norbert Orlewicz:  So this is one of the big challenges that we as humans, all of us, all of our audience listening right now, all of us, many of us are coaches, obviously listening to this right

now. Yet we understand it's just basic human psychology, right? We understand that right now we are in a society and a lot of us potentially are not taking full responsibility for our place in the world, for our place in our lives, for our place, in our relationships, and in our communi communities. What is at the root of that, do you think? 

For us as individuals and for us coaches right now, you know, who might be going through our own challenges in our life, in our business, we're not taking full responsibility. What does that mean? Why are we here? How did we end up here and how do we shift it?

Steve Krivda:  Yeah, I think that, you know, I look at how I grew up. I grew up with mom and dad. Dad worked. Mom was home. So I had, I had a parent in my life and I, I, I don't wanna, I wanna be very cautious on this because just because your mom and dad weren't home doesn't mean you, you, you aren't able to do this. However, when, when we are, uh, taught a certain level of, of core values in our life, you know, our core value is truth, honesty, integrity, authenticity.

You know, when, when we're living our life that way, when you're living in truth. Uh, uh, truth, honesty, integrity, and authenticity. When we're sitting in that place, you know, there's nothing else. You know, there's a level of impeccability that, that, that, that, as a society, I think we're pulling away from, you know, this good enough type of mentality.

I don't have a whole lot of patience for that. Um, because nothing's ever, if you're, if you're putting yourself on a scale, it's not about being good enough or valuable enough or worthy enough. It's if is, am I giving a hundred percent of who I am in this moment? You know, when we start shifting from that, it's like, well, I saw somebody else do that, or because of my background, or because somebody said this, or because, you know, and, and I'll be honest with you, you know, I had a, my sixth grade teacher told me that I was stupid.

And like, and I believed it. I believed it all the way till I was like 40 years old. And I didn't realize that, how much I really believed that. And it was impacting every single thing that I did, you know? And until we start, you know, going back to your very first question, and until we start opening up and really kind of waking up to the person that we've become, we're always gonna be that.

And then we're always gonna have a crutch. We're always gonna have something to lean on to never really show up as, as the person that we were designed to be. And that's fricking awesome.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Hmm. In your book? This just makes me think. 'cause in your book, um, I think, is it Tom Ziegler with Tom Ziglar? Uh, the ebook, and we'll give you guys a link to that, that ebook at the end here. Um, you talk about beliefs in self-image, you talk about the, the bridge crossing over to where you wanna be. I. And the pillars are kind of broken and worn down, and those pillars are beliefs and self image. You kind of brought up this topic of, of beliefs. Talk to us a little bit more about that because I really feel, especially for someone like my age, you know, as we get into middle age, I think we really start to reassess a lot of things. I. 

Regardless of how much success or how much failure we've had, I think in middle age around this time, we kind of reassess everything to make sure that we're going in the right direction for the second half of our lives, the better half of our lives. And so we get to this point where I think we need to, I. Really sit down and readdress what are these beliefs that I'm holding onto that I have, and are they still serving me and are they taking me to the place that I want to go? Can you just speak a little bit more on how important our beliefs are and how maybe sometimes we're misguided about what we think we believe?

Steve Krivda:  Yeah. Whew. There's a whole lot there. Um,

you know, when it, uh, uh, the beliefs are our core of everything. You know, it doesn't matter if you wanna become a multi bazillionaire, if your mindset isn't, is an on, on course for what you want. It's just not going to happen. And the challenge behind that is, is like, well, what's the mindset look like?

Well, the moment you start doing something, whatever activity that's gonna be, you're either gonna go fly right through it, it's gonna be a piece of cake, or you're gonna start running into something. Some sabotage will show up, some kind of procrastination or something's gonna come up. And I call 'em blind spots.

And our blind spots are interesting because if I put my hand up like this, nor, but I can still see you, but there's still five things in a hand in the way, right? And we don't notice that they're there and all of a sudden we start pulling 'em away and it's like, holy smokes. I can see everything clearly now.

Well, the. The question is, is, well, what are they? Right? So you can say relationships. I had a whole bunch of relationships, whether it was infidelity or fighting or arguing or whatever, and we don't know that that's there, but we create a belief out of it. That's what relationships are, and it's not an upfront belief.

It's not like, oh, I can't wait to get in this relationship so I can get in a fight. It's this back core thing, and then, and we're looking for it. So we're not really putting a hundred percent of ourselves into that relationship. So we're actually creating the relationship that we want. We don't know that that's what we want, and it's not because there's, we don't want a bad relationship.

Our mind is looking for familiarity.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Mm-hmm.

Steve Krivda:  In business, it's the same thing. You know, if you've had four or five goes or runs at a home business or any kind of business or a coaching practice or whatever that is, and you keep running into the same roadblock over and over again, you're programming your mind that this is just the way it is for me.

Well, maybe I'm just not smart enough to do this, and then you quit and do something different, right? So we start creating these beliefs, or you can, like I mentioned before, I had a teacher say some not so awesome things to me, and. You know, we create that belief in the background of our mind. We're not paying attention to the point where we pick up a book and we start reading a book and we don't get it.

And it's like, well that's okay 'cause I'm not that smart anyways, so no problem. Maybe I'm just not cut out for that. And none of this, everything I just said, all these things, these beliefs are just not true. That's why they're called beliefs are not facts, right? So like when we start looking at this stuff and when we start running into these, these roadblocks, especially sabotage, procrastination is one of my favorites.

Because when you sit here, if it's five o'clock and you're gonna, and, and, and you know, you're, you're, you sit down to do something in particular and five 30 rolls around, you haven't started yet. A lot of people get angry, upset. It's like, what's wrong with me? Start going down and I'll, we can go down the spiral.

My, my definition of what the spiral looks like in a few, but what we're doing is looking for something wrong. It's like, well, nothing is wrong, just avoiding something. So what are you avoiding? And then you can start looking for it. It's like, well, I'm avoiding, um, getting the work done. Well, what happens if you do the work?

Well, then I'll have to create the program. Well, what happens if you create the program? I'm probably gonna have to talk to somebody. What happens if you talk to somebody and it, the, it's the, it's so fast. The answer's so quick. It's like, well, they're gonna tell me no. Whoa. Where did that come from? And what does no represent to me?

Well, no. Is rejection okay, so rejecting you or the offer. And then all of a sudden you start wiggling yourself through this path. And this is where a coach is so powerful because they're gonna ask you the questions. Most of us kind of know where it's gonna go, so we do our best not to navigate for you, but when you start asking a repeat, this is why there's blind spots that come up and they go back so fast.

Is all of a sudden you realize like, man, I've, I treated my spouse this way for so long because I was so afraid to be open, honest, and vulnerable. I never really, I never really charged the money that I know that I deserve because I'm such an extraordinary coach, because I'm afraid of no, or somebody questioning my numbers or whatever.

We start creating these beliefs and it, and they, and they come from all kinds of different areas. It could be. I was, uh, I just, I had just quit my job. It was 2015, and I remember calling my dad. My dad's an entrepreneur, he his whole entire life. I call him up. I'm like, man, you'll never guess what I just did.

And he was like, what's going on? I tell him. He is like, are you insane? And I immediately questioned every, every, every decision I made right then and there on the spot. I was like, I get off the phone, I'm like, holy crap. Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life? And it, no, no, I didn't at all. Because where the way, and now here's where our, here's where a belief can be created because we only see things this way.

So if you view, if you're only viewing things the way you've always viewed it, you're only looking through the windshield of your car. But if you view yourself as a third person as you're viewing it, you can almost like a helicopter looking over the situation and creating what's, what's the context of what's happening here.

My one view coming from my insecurities, fears, and doubts of my dad saying, are you crazy? Is that I'm not smart enough? Right? Pop right back up. That belief came up quickly, but that's, and my, and my dad's in my mind I'm thinking, my dad's thinking I can't do this. Well, if you look at something differently, he probably was like, I'm not really sure how hard Steve's.

He knows how hard this is gonna be. And man, I'm really frightened for him because this is a really, this is a long journey. Not many, many people, uh, make it all the way to where you want to be. So I'm really scared for him. And there's two different points of view, but we only grab the one that fits our beliefs, our core beliefs about ourselves.

And once you, once you find that core belief, whatever your insecurity, I don't care who, it's, everybody has a call 'em a terrible trio. Everybody's got 'em. It's just whether or not you're aware if they're there and how they're dictated and manipulating how you make decisions throughout the day.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Yeah, it's, it's huge. I mean, it really just governs all of our behaviors and, and then really how we show up. So let, let's talk about this journey. 'cause you said you kind of fell into coaching 2015, you quit your job. Um, and what was the idea there? Were you gonna go into coaching, you know, initially, what, what's been this entrepreneurial journey for you and how did you transition?

I know it's, it's quite a story. How did you transition to finally becoming a coach and, and building a, a, a, actually a successful coaching business? Because that's a big challenge nowadays.

Steve Krivda:  don't know if you know this, you, you play an integral part in this.

So we worked together in an, in another company a while back and loved it, loved everything about it, and actually evolved into what you guys are doing now. And I was like, I know what I'm gonna do. I am gonna position myself as the expert at at, at this this marketing position, and you can purchase me.

You can purchase all the products on your own. It's gonna cost you this much money or purchase the system. I'll hope you do it, period. Like that was, that was my offer. And I had somebody go, I think I wanna hire you. I went great. I Norbert I didn't have, I didn't have a link to send them. I didn't even know what to, I didn't even know how to collect payment, let alone what to do.

So I just fell into it on accident, I, I hung up the phone, got all their information, and, uh, 'cause back when then we didn't have, we, we didn't do Skype. I just hung up the phone and. And, uh, called my wife 'cause she's my techie person. And she's like, yeah, this is how you do it on PayPal. Send it all out. And, and, uh, that person stayed with me for a while and I'm like, you know, there's something to this, you know, I should probably learn what I'm doing.

And, you know, it was really funny, uh, that stent before we really started working together. One-on-one, uh, uh, in, in, in your company. It was, um, I, I did a lot of telling, telling people what to do.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Right.

Yeah. 

Steve Krivda:  I'm, great at giving advice, you know? Yeah. Let me, let me tell you all about something you could probably read in a book.

Right. And, uh, that's basically the way it was, you know, and, you know, people were getting sort of almost results. And finally one day I started looking at, looking at, so I'm like, there's gotta be something more here. There's something beyond. You know, this just advice giving thing and, and always wanted to be the savior to see people.

And, you know, and that's a, that's a by the way, if you're a coach, please be cautious of that. It's very easy to fall into that place because people are gonna come to you for everything. It's not just gonna be for your business, it's gonna be like, Hey, I'm having a, I'm having a challenge with my son, or whomever that is.

And, uh, you just want to tell 'em how to fix it. And there's no fix. They, by the way, they already know the, they already know the answer. And so as a coach, our job is not to, to give advice. Our coach, our job is to ask them the question where they can see it themselves. And, um, I end up meeting some really powerful insight coaches, an insight coach, um, your audience probably already knows this, and insight coach will ask the right question for you to have such an insight in your own mind.

It doesn't just shape what you're dealing with in the moment. It completely changes and transforms your whole entire life. And, and I wanna be clear, do you need to be certified to be a coach? I don't know. I don't know. It, it's cool. Look, I gotta be honest with you, I love the Ziglar name. I like Tom. Him and I are super great friends. Um, but do you need to be certified? I'm not sure. It probably is gonna depend on who you're marketing to is probably gonna be more of a tell of what it is, but it doesn't make you a better coach.

I'm, I have loads of paper inside my office right here that. Says I'm a coach, but it's not about your title, it's about who you decide to be in your life. You know, I'm I, I, I'm known through my whole world as Coach Steve. Um, and that's, it's only because I live it. I, I have to live it because if not, I'm just a hypocrite.

And what was interesting, I think Norbert was putting myself out there. I just started having conversations with people. That was my market in the beginning. You know, somebody would come across my path and I'd be like, Hey, what's up? And they'd be like, not much. I'm like, cool page. Basically how we would start doing it.

And I wasn't looking for an in or an edge over top of the person. I was just listening and actually being empathetic and compassionate of, because we're all dealing with something. You know, and, and for me it was, I, I, I coach a lot of marketers outta the head space so they can actually do what they said they were gonna do.

And I would listen to 'em. I'm like, awesome. So I saw you're a marketer. And I would just start that conversation. I'm like, that's fantastic. I've been a marketer for a long time as well. It's good for you. And I would say, so what's been, what's been great for you? And I'm like, I work, I don't, I don't wanna be like, I don't wanna hammer the person with like, Hey, let, let me tell you how great of a coach I am.

I just wanna know what's working, what's what's happening, and then I, I'll sway away from it, come back, you know, and start those conversations and all of a sudden I'm listening for a challenge. And as soon as I hear that challenge, I'm like, oh, that's amazing. Thank you for opening up. Curious, what have you done for that so far?

And I'm just all, I'm not. I've dealt with that challenge too. Let me tell you what I did type of conversation. It's more of, oh, what did you do? What has, what worked? What hasn't worked? Why do you think it didn't work? And that's how I started it because I wanted to know, you know, who are the people I wanna work with?

Uh, 'cause I've definitely worked with a lot of people I did work, work with, and then I

probably more than six months, there's a good chance you figured it out, that you're coaching a version of yourself. And when you know that person, that's who I showed up as on, on social media. I showed up as that guy. I'm like, Hey, I was dealing with this in my, I was dealing with this today. Just be really open and honest with people.

I was dealing with this this morning. Um, like I, I started doing cold punches about this time last year. I. Geez. And, uh, I'd be like, man, I, I was, I remember sitting there with my camera and going, I don't know if I want to do this or not. I'm like, I must be out of my mind. This is stupid. I'm like, I don't even, like, I don't even, I live in Florida for crying out loud.

I don't like anything below 80 degrees. What am I crazy? And like people are like, oh my gosh, I so resonate with you on this. And like, so those are my people. The people that I want to talk to are those people. And you know, I'm a, I'm a dad. I have, we have two boys. I've been married for now for, geez, I've known my wife now for 24 years.

I. And like, like tho I am literally the guy. And so like, I would talk about this kind of stuff and how to overcome sabotage and, and you know, I did, I did stories all the time. I did um, uh, reels all the time back then. Geez, I'm really dating myself. Facebook Live was just coming out and I would just put myself out there and I would look for what's what at the time.

What's a 40-year-old man with, with a family? What are they dealing with? You know, and it's usually I work too hard. I don't have enough time for my family. I don't have a relationship with my wife or my kids. You know, I, I, I don't make enough money. Things aren't working for me and I'm running into these things and, and you know, I remember one of my videos, Norbert, was, um, does your wife know?

And I was, I think that's what the name of the, the video was, does your wife know what you're dealing with? Or something like that. And I remember coming on the call and, and I remember just, I, I broke down right in the middle of the call. It wasn't on purpose. Like, and I remember sitting there, I was like, you know, my wife has no idea what I deal with on a daily basis, sitting in my office.

And I remember just losing it. And I was like, geez, maybe I should tell her. Like, I remember having these conversations with her before, but never at this depth. And, um, you know, as, as, as, as my own market, I know that we don't typically express what's what we're dealing with up here and what we're dealing with in here.

So we just come across as I. I just had a rough day today. Just deal with it. Right? And, and, and I would come outta my office and I started talking about perspectives and perceptions and how we're interpreting things and how we're bringing our, how we're creating stories for our families. Like I walk outta my office and like coach, uh, coach Norbert.

You know that when you come at it, when sometimes, even if your clients are amazing, all day long, man, it, it, your, your mind at the end of the day is a little mushy. Right. So I'd walk out and I'd be trying to gather my thoughts and I'd look over at my family and they're kind of eating dinner, avoiding eye contact with me, and I was like, Hey, what's up?

They're like, are you okay? I'm like, oh man, I'm so sorry. I'm like, I can't even form a thought right now. I'm like, I'm so sorry. So I, I learned, so I, this is the type, type of of videos I was putting out. I'm like, I learned that when I come outta my office. It's okay for me to say, man, it was a really challenging day today.

Can you guys give me a few minutes? I just need to gather my thoughts because the stories in their minds are, what did I do wrong? Did I not clean my room? Did my husband have a bad day at work? Was it me? All these types of things we're creating all this stuff that doesn't even need to exist by keeping ourselves that way.

that's how, that's how I brought myself out.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Yeah. Yeah. There's so much, so much there, Steve. You know, thinking about the coaches that are listening to

this, um, With all of your experience in marketing, in sales and in coaching, what's some advice that you think coaches need to hear when it comes to growing their business, marketing their business, and getting new clients?

What do you think they don't know that they need to know?

Steve Krivda:  Yeah, that's a good question. Geez. Um, you know, I think that one of the things that, that a coach rarely does is ask for a testimony. And it's cra I I, I didn't for a 

Norbert Orlewicz:  It's so basic.

Steve Krivda:  It's like, Hey, great call Coach Steve. Hey, would you be willing to put that in writing? You know, and it, and it seems so simplistic.

But that's what sells. I'm, I'm great at telling people, you know, all this stuff, but I could, I could literally write a script for anybody and they've never coached in their life, and they can get a bunch of clients, but they're not gonna perform. You know? So like, I think, I, I used to say, um, that every testimony to me is worth $10,000.

I raised that way higher. Now, um, you, you know, so like when you're, when you're coaching. You know, I think that the, the challenge that we run into as a coach, especially in the beginning, in the marketing phases, is we are so concerned about what do I charge? Will people pay me? And all this kind of stuff.

And it's like, you know what, coach for free for a month. How many people could you coach in 60 days? Good lord. You know, and then stockpile these testimonies, all of a sudden, launch 'em out in the, into the atmosphere. Man, I just had a greatest conversation with Charles today, and he was dealing with this and we were to create this.

Here's his testimony. You know, that stuff right there is you, you literally can't toot your own horn enough. I mean, if, if that's where people really want to get, if you want to, if you wanna climb the ladder fast. Serve people. Stop trying to sell 'em all.

Norbert Orlewicz:  I, I love how you started out this conversation talking about how you just started having conversations with

people and, and I think that really is the key. I mean, we want the easy button, right? We want the magic funnel.

The magic lead, which funnel should I use? You know, which platform should

I be on? Which dance should I do on TikTok? How do I make a viral video? Like these are all fun, interesting things, but none of these things are gonna grow a long-term, profitable, successful, sustainable coaching business. What will is exactly what you were talking about. Have conversations with people. I mean, if you're a coach and you're not having conversations with people on a daily basis. There's a problem right

there. So the question shouldn't be how do I get more clients? Or how do I market my business? The question should be, how do I have my more conversations?

Steve Krivda:  Yep.

Norbert Orlewicz:  And on that note, how do we have more conversations? Steve?

Steve Krivda:  I had a coach tell me one time, he said,

uh, I asked, I don't know how we got on the subject. He goes, I want you to walk next room. You walk into, find the most interesting person in there, or walk up to him to say, Hey. You look like the most interesting person in here. Do you mind if I sit down and have a conversation with you?

And I remember going, I'm sorry, you want me to do what? And I just happened to be flying. He goes, uh, go in, go go in the airport and do that. And I was like, oh, okay. And I did it and I got the person's phone number and like five minutes. It was crazy. And I was like, this was what, 10 years ago? And like, so like when we're looking at finding people to talk to, I don't know how many billions of people are on Facebook alone.

Um, you know, there's, if we really think that we need to find that right person, it's not gonna be the right person. It's gonna be the right person at the right time. And so when you're talking with people, you know, a, a coach came across me back in 2013. Uh, it was Ray Hickton. Uh, he just, he just came in, he was coaching for, uh, uh, several years, and he just happened to be there at the right time to say, Hey, what's up?

I mean, that's basically how our conversation started. I've known him for like seven or eight years before then. So like when we, when we look at that, it's, I think that like, I don't have my, I don't have something here to do it with, but if you look, there's, there's not talking to anybody. And creating the sale, right?

I think we overlook the steps in the middle and we go, how can I get, how can I get here? How can I make the sale? And I'm like, stop, stop, stop going there and start connecting with somebody. If we go, I can't, I can't have a coaching conversation or even an enrollment conversation or discovery, whatever you call it, until I connect with somebody.

It's like, then you, you, you connect. You have a discovery call and then you have a coaching call and then you can propose and then you see what's happening afterwards, and then you enroll. It's like, we gotta slow down the process a little bit. So, you know, I have one of my biggest clients I've ever had, I'm I, we were standing in at church and we were just talking and she said something and I go, man, that sounds like a hard challenge.

She's like, it is. I'm like, what are you doing about that? And she's like, I have no idea. And I go, you know. What I do is I help people with that challenge and she goes, really? I didn't know you did businesses as well. And she goes, can we have a conversation? And a week later, that was my first, that was my first mid-level five figure contract.


Norbert Orlewicz:  I love the way that you talked about slowing down here because this is so critical, right? I think everyone's trying to skip the steps. And I see that with coaches a A as well,

because coaches get certified, they throw up a social media profile or LinkedIn profile. They throw up a website and they throw up a book, A call,

Steve Krivda:  Yep.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Book a call calendar. That's their call to action on their website.

That's their call to action on the LinkedIn. Book a call, book a call. Maybe they'll DM some people and say, book a

call and nobody's just gonna book a call. They don't know who you are. There's no relationship. There's no connection there. We have to have these conversations. So you have to be proactive.

And I love what you said, just look for interesting people. There's so many interesting people on LinkedIn, like when I was spending time prospecting and kind of connecting and growing my network a little bit on LinkedIn, literally in just a few

minutes. You find incredibly interesting people on LinkedIn that I would love to have conversations.

It's one of the reasons that we wanted to launch this podcast is because there's so many coaches that I just wanna have conversations with. 'cause I'm curious about what they do and how they do it, and how they've done it and what they're doing and all that kind of stuff. And I love building my network that way. This is one of the easiest ways for us to get clients and for any coach to get clients is just have conversations and, hey, if you want to turn it into a podcast, cool. That's an extra bonus. But just have conversations. You talk a lot in your book as well. There's, uh, you, you talk a lot about like the things that are holding us back and I know that it has a lot to do with, with obviously with beliefs. 

Self-limiting beliefs and things like that. But why do you think, what do you think holds most coaches back from hitting their goals? From enrolling enough clients, from getting the sales and building that dream business that they know they should have?

Steve Krivda:  Hmm. I've coached a lot of coaches and I think one of the most popular, when people get down to the core thought, who would listen to me and, you know, I don't, if I had to be success, if I had to be as successful as the people that I've coached. I never would've coached him because that has nothing to do with where you are e economically or, or, or in society, is do you have the ability to take yourself out of the equation and ask the questions that they're, that everybody else is afraid to ask.

You know, I remember coaching a gentleman and when I, I'm, I'm, I'm almost six two, I'm kind of a big guy. He made me look like I was two feet tall, just a monster, uh, ex-football player. And I'm like, and I'm, and I'm looking at him and you can, I could hear it in his voice. I, he's, I can hear the fear, and I finally, I'm like, Ugh.

He is like, what? And I go, well, I got a question to ask you. And I'm like, I said, I'm not sure how you're gonna take it. And he goes, what do you mean? I go, well you're, you're a big guy. I said, you seem like you take the bull by the horn. You probably fight a bull. And he is like, yeah. And I go, so what are you so afraid of?

Steve Krivda:  And he looked at me and when I tell you his face like this is the level of anger he got, that was red, his face went, I was like, oh crap. And I started sweating immediately and I just sat there quietly. And he goes, man, what if I fail? And I go, so what if you do And you, and immediately like that response back to him calmed him way down.

You know, and I think that as coaches, I, I don't remember your question, but as coaches, the stuff that we run into this, this feeling like we have to be good enough or powerful enough, or we have to have all this wisdom and all this,

take your, if you take your righteousness out of the conversation, you take your judgment out of the conversation and you listen to that person as a human being, you'll hear exactly what's happening in their life. And you'll hear it and you can ask . And it's such a, an interesting thing 'cause if, if you just, you know, how many times have you, you know, you've pulled up a, a really good splash page and it says, um, what's holding you back?

And people go, told me. And that's, and for a lot of people, that's a sufficient answer. I'm like, no, it's not. All you have to do is, well, what do you mean? Tell me a little bit more. Elaborate on that. Can you gimme some context behind it? It and 99% of the time as they're talking to you, you know that good enough, that valuable enough, that worthy enough person that's sitting inside where you're questioning your ability to, to coach starts disappearing.

And all of a sudden now you, you realize that you are their confidant. You're not their friend, not their buddy, none of that kind of stuff. You are an advocate for their greatness, and you pull that. When you bring that out of you, you're gonna realize that it's been sitting there an entire time and it's been dying to come out.

You just let it be.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Yeah, I love that. Oh, what a great, uh, what a great story to make that, to make that point, Steve, we could stay here for probably do one of those three hour Joe Rogan

podcasts here, talk, talk a lot about all sorts of different things. But we're gonna wrap this up and, uh, because we've, we've delivered so much value already.

But I wanna ask you this question here. So since we're on this topic of being. Authentic and vulnerable and raw and honest and truthful and all that kind of

stuff. What do you think is the hardest part about being a coach that nobody talks about? Like what's a struggle that you think a lot of coaches, you know, might deal with, but don't share openly?

Steve Krivda:  The made up problem or the real problem.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Let's do both.

Steve Krivda:  Okay.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Let's start with a made up problem.

Steve Krivda:  I would say, I would say the challenge that I've always had is the back end of it all the, the bookkeeping and all that kind of stuff, man. It's like I don't even want to touch that stuff. Um, but I would say, you know, and, and you've asked several times, I think the biggest challenge that a coach has run into is how do I, how do I create a client and I'm just gonna be straight.

It's not hard. It's, it's when, when you remove the, the destination outta the conversation, the destination will come. You know, if I get on a call with somebody and I'm already thinking, I know, right? This is, again, it's, it's the biggest challenge a coach deals with thinking they have to know everything. If I think I already have to know what this problem or what this person's problem or challenge or dealing with, if I, if I already know that, then I've, I've removed the intent, I've removed their intention outta the conversation, and I've turned it into my own intention.

So like, when I slow down enough, I would say that. Hmm.

I would say almost every client that I've ever worked with, what they've come with is not what we end up talking about, always something else. And so I think the challenge when it comes down to it in that client creation place, it's allowing you to create an insight for that person. So instead of convincing, talk to 'em.

And when you allow that insight to pop, and all of a sudden they go, wait a minute. Hold on a second here. Or you see them shift, or, or they raise an eyebrow, or they exhale, instead of trying to figure out what it is, just ask like, Hey, what just happened? I saw you shift in your seat. Is everything all right?

Yeah. I just thought of something. Yeah. What'd you think about? Well, you know what? You just, what you just asked me had me think of this. I. You know, I had a, a, a coach of mine one time and uh, it's one of those things where I put myself out there and man, I was, I was really kicking butt. It was a 2019 really crushing him and, no, no, sorry, 2022.

We were coming outta Covid and I was crushing it down here in Florida. And, uh, and he says to me, I came in, when I came in, I call it coming in from the dark side. And I was like, he's like, oh. It's, it's that crda. I go, yep, you, you're getting me today. And he goes, Hmm. And we ended up talking and he goes, you know what I noticed?

Now, part of the thing that US coaches can look for are the patterns. Um, one of the things I love doing with a client is deciphering the patterns. It's helping them create their decisions. And he saw a pattern of mine and he goes, you know, I noticed that when you start doing this, it's like you automatically look for and find, uh.

Drama. I go, what do you mean? He goes, well, you just told me exactly what you did, did over the week. And he goes, that was a, that was an unconscious conscious decision to make. The phone calls that you made with people that you know agitate you. And I was like, holy crap. He goes, yeah, you did it here and you did it here three times.

This is your third time. I go, huh, that's interesting. He goes, so now what? I go, I need to get complete with some people. And so like in that moment there, when you do that with somebody, when you help them, when you hold up a mirror to somebody and you help them see themselves right there on that very first call, like my enrollment conversations are an hour long and there's no intention of selling anything at the end of that conversation.

My intention is to give you homework to do over the next week, and then we're gonna talk again. So like when I coach somebody, I'm just listening intently. All of a sudden I'm like, you know what? I just noticed something. When you walk into your business meeting, you told me you walk in already ready to have a confrontation with that one person.

Oh yeah. 'cause they do the same thing. I'm like, what if you didn't? What if you walked in and what they're dealing with is actually they're terrified of you because you intimidate them so much. What if that was it? I'm not saying it is, but what if that was it? All of a sudden they go, well, that would change everything.

I'm like, what's everything? I'm like, why would walk in relaxed and calm? I'm like, Hmm. And oh, that might give them an opportunity to be calm too. I'm like, worth a shot.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Hm.

Steve Krivda:  I'm gonna do that. I'm like, so how are you gonna do that? Well, before I walk in and you can hear how the conversation starts evolving.

'cause I had no idea where we were going with that conversation. And this was real, that was a real example. And, uh, they came back, they're like, man, I, they came up to me afterwards and they were like, thank you for being so calm. You're like, your insights are so great. And I'm, and like, we're friends now.

And I'm like, yeah, because you went in like this. I'm like, of course they were defending themselves because you were ready to fight. And they were like, so what do you cost again? I'm like, we're not even there yet, man. Nowhere near that,

Norbert Orlewicz:  So what you're saying, Steve, is that you should treat your sales calls. And I say that like jokingly, like we never call them sales

calls, uh, but you should treat these sales calls, these enrollment calls. You mean like coaching calls?

So we should show up. We should show up on the call instead of like a salesman.

We should show up like a coach.

Steve Krivda:  Yep.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Is that what you're saying? Is that the big

secret? up and cut your ass off.

I I love how you said. You know, coming in with the question of, I don't know, and the question of wonder, right? You come into that prospecting call, that enrollment call, and instead of with the mentality of I need a client, what if you came in with a, I wonder if this will be a good client. I wonder, because then you'd have to actually learn about them.

You'd actually have to take the time to pay attention to who they are and learn more about them and figure out. If you are the right fit for them and if they're the right fit for you, because I guess that's, that's really it. I mean that's, uh,

yeah. science.

It's not rocket science. It's just about having those conversations. Yeah. Love it.

Steve Krivda:  When I, I'll, I'll leave him with this.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Yes, please.

Steve Krivda:  When you're done with that initial coaching call, if you don't feel like, like, like, like they're like, go you. It's okay to say, you know what? Great call, we can go further. I wanna meet you again. When do you have another 30 to 45 minutes? And they're gonna say, well, how much is that gonna cost?

Go? Nothing. I'm inviting you. And then you bring 'em in again and stop, go back, watch the recording, wrap your head around and go, man, did I did what? What am I seeing? What can I ask next time to broaden this out? It's okay to do that because when you get them there, no matter what your cost is, they're going to, they, they will be relieved.

If it's $10,000 for three months, they're gonna go, whew. Shoot. They're gonna say 50. Awesome. time it will be.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Yep. And this is what you're communicating here is, is the big piece of what I teach in

marketing is that somehow we must demonstrate our expertise. Right. Whether it's through a coaching call, whether it's through a a, a webinar or a workshop, perhaps it's through a book that you've published, maybe a digital course you've created.

It really doesn't matter, but somehow, some way you must demonstrate your expertise before they're going to give you money,

Steve Krivda:  Yes. Yep.

Norbert Orlewicz:  So simple. Steve, this has been fantastic. Really great conversation.

Really appreciate you being here and sharing your years of wisdom, knowledge, and experience. Um, you know, the value that you deliver to your clients and other coaches. Um. grateful for you being here and sharing this with us. Uh, we're gonna leave all the links for people to get in touch with you, your social media links. I think there's a link to your, your ebook as well, uh, that free gift and, um, any, any other specific ways that people can get in touch with you.

Anything else you wanted to leave that?

Steve Krivda:  Man. Uh, honestly, if they go right to that link, um, for, for the ebook, they're gonna get a week's worth of, uh, uh, Ziglar audios as well. I'd like to throw that in there as well. Um, but they, if they, I mean, my whole name is Steven with a V dot c do Crita and that's where I am on Everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn.

Thank you very much. This has been awesome.

Norbert Orlewicz:  Yeah, our pleasure. Our pleasure. Thanks again, Steve, 

and if you enjoyed this episode, please, we are a new and growing podcast. We need your help, so please share this episode out with your network, like subscribe, review, all those things so you don't miss out on our next episodes.

This has been a conversation between two coaches.